*jumps on table* but if you close your eyes *thrOWS VASE AT WALL* DOES IT ALMOST FEEL LIKE *SPLITS TABLE IN HALF AND FALLS TO GROUND* NOTHING CHANGED AT ALL *LEAPS OUT WINDOW* AND IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES *ROLLS ONTO GROUND* DOES IT ALMOST FEEL LIKE *JUMPS UP AND RUNS DOWN THE STREET* YOU’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE *BOMB EXPLODES AND BUILDING CRASHES DOWN* HOW AM I GONNA BE AN OPTIMIST ABOUT THIS *HELICOPTER FALLS TO GROUND AND BLOWS UP* HOW AM I GONNA BE AN OPTIMIST ABOUT THIS
can’t this show just be nothing but data training cats
Why does my Concerta always wear off around 11? I all of a sudden get the biggest appetite and just binge eat food for two hours. Ughhhh. I would ignore it but I can’t sleep when I am hungry.
I need feminism because a senator actually referred to a pregnant woman as a ‘host’.
Not a woman. Not a mother. A ‘host’.
You know what a host is?
It’s the victim of a parasite.
So this pro-life dude just made an argument against his own agenda.
And also, a host?
Fuck that shit.
If I’m a host, then I have the right to kick an unwelcome visitor out of my house.
He may want to rethink that term.
Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron.
A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving her every single positive character trait that Ron has, they have assassinated her character in the movies. She’s been harmed by being made to be less human, because everything good Ron has, she’s been given.
So, for instance: “If you want to kill Harry, you’re going to have to kill me too”—RON, leg is broken, he’s in pain, gets up and stands in front of Harry and says this. Who gets that line in the movie? Hermione.
“Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.” Hermione doesn’t say Voldemort’s name until well into the books—that’s Dumbledore’s line. When does Hermione say it in the movies? Beginning of Movie 2.
When the Devil’s Snare is curling itself around everybody, Hermione panics, and Ron is the one who keeps his head and says “Are you a witch or not?” In the movie, everybody else panics and Hermione keeps her head and does the biggest, brightest flare of sunlight spell there ever was.
So, Hermione—all her flaws were shaved away in the films. And that sounds like you’re making a kick-ass, amazing character, and what you’re doing is dehumanizing her. And it pisses me off. It really does.
In the books, they balance each other out, because where Hermione gets frazzled and maybe her rationality overtakes some of her instinct, Ron has that to back it up; Ron has a kind of emotional grounding that can keep Hermione’s hyper-rationalness in check. Sometimes Hermione’s super-logical nature grates Harry and bothers him, and isn’t the thing he needs even if it’s the right thing, like when she says “You have a saving people thing.” That is the thing that Harry needed to hear, she’s a hundred percent right, but the way she does it is wrong. That’s the classic “she’s super logical, she’s super brilliant, but she doesn’t know how to handle people emotionally,” at least Harry.
So in the books they are this balanced group, and in the movies, in the movies—hell, not even Harry is good enough for Hermione in the movies. No one’s good enough for Hermione in the movies—God isn’t good enough for Hermione in the movies! Hermione is everybody’s everything in the movies.
Harry’s idea to jump on the dragon in the books, who gets it in the movies? Hermione, who hates to fly. Hermione, who overcomes her withering fear of flying to take over Harry’s big idea to get out of the—like, why does Hermione get all these moments?
[John: Because we need to market the movie to girls.]
I think girls like the books, period. And like the Hermione in the books, and like the Hermione in the books just fine before Hollywood made her idealized and perfect. And if they would have trusted that, they would have been just fine.
Would the movies have been bad if she was as awesome as she was in the books, and as human as she was in the books? Would the movies get worse?
She IS a strong girl character. This is the thing that pisses me off. They are equating “strong” with superhuman. To me, the Hermione in the book is twelve times stronger than the completely unreachable ideal of Hermione in the movies. Give me the Hermione in the book who’s human and has flaws any single day of the week.
Here’s a classic example: When Snape in the first book yells at Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, do you want to know what Ron says in the book? “Well, you’re asking the questions, and she has to answer. Why ask if you don’t want to be told?” What does he say in the movie? “He’s got a point, you know.” Ron? Would never do that. Would NEVER do that, even before he liked Hermione. Ron would never do that.”
—Melissa Anelli THROWS IT DOWN about the way Ron and Hermione have been adapted in the movies on the latest episode of PotterCast. Listen here. This glorious rant starts at about 49:00. (via karakamos)
“when she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground. she fell headfirst into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs. when she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said ‘boys will be boys honey don’t let it bother you, he probably just thinks you’re cute’ but the thing is, when you tell a little girl who has rocks in her teeth and scabs on her knees that hurt and attention are the same. you teach her that boys show their affection through aggression and she grows into a young woman who constantly mistakes the two because no one ever taught her the difference. ‘boys will be boys’ turns into ‘that’s how he shows his love’ and bruises start to feel like the imprint of lips, she goes to school with a busted mouth in high school and says she was hit with a basketball instead of his fist. the one adult she tells scolds her ‘you know he loses his temper easily why the hell did you have to provoke him?’ so she shrinks. folds into herself, flinches every time a man raises his voice by the time she’s 16 she’s learned her job well. be quiet, be soft, be easy. don’t give him a reason but for all her efforts, he still finds one. ‘boys will be boys’ rings in her head ‘boys will be boys’ he doesn’t mean it ‘he can’t help it’. she’s 7 years old on the playground again with a mouth full of rocks and blood that tastes like copper love because boys will be boys baby don’t you know. that’s just how he shows he cares. she’s 18 now and they’re drunk in the split second it takes for her words to enter his ears they’re ruined like a glass heirloom being dropped between the hands of generations. she meant them to open his arms but they curl his fists and suddenly his hands are on her and her head hits the wall and all of the goddamn words in the world couldn’t save them in this moment. she touches the bruise the next day. boys will be boys. aggression, affection, violence, and love. how does she separate them when she learned so early that they’re inextricably bound, tangled in a constant tug-of-war. she draws tally marks on her walls ratios of kisses to bruises. one entire side of her bedroom turns purple, one entire side of her body. boys will be boys will be boys will be boys. when she’s 20, a boy touches her hips and she jumps, he asks her who the hell taught her to be scared like that and she wants to laugh. doesn’t he know that boys will be boys? it took her 13 years to unlearn that lesson from the playground. so I guess what I’m trying to say is i will talk until my voice is hoarse so that my little sister understands that aggression and affection are two entirely separate things. baby they exist in difference universes. my niece can’t even speak yet but I think I’ll start with her now don’t ever accept the excuse that boys will be boys. don’t ever let him put his hands on you like that. if you see hate blazing in his eyes don’t you ever confuse it with love. baby love won’t hurt when it comes. you won’t have to hide it under long sleeves during the summer and the only reason he should ever reach out his hand is to hold yours”
—Fortesa Latifi - Boys Will Be Boys (via whismical)